Kate's Pride
by pampilot67
Summary: Kate job has lost her all her friends and when her dad get ill she must give up her pride for her father.
1. Chapter 1

Beckett's Pride

Kate job has lost her all her friends and when her dad get ill she must give up her pride for her father.

* * *

At 30,000 feet all you could see was clouds ,not that she was looking out the window. Her body was so tired, and aching, her mind confused. She lost 15 lb since she started this job and had never slept more than four hours a day. She thought back over the past 18 months, how much her life had changed.

**Flash back :**

Only the two months before she changed jobs, and life style, was she happy. For the last fourteen months she been on the run, from one hot spot to another. She never got to close a case, it was always passed off to the regular Agents in the area she worked. She has never got a good boy hug, or hand shake. This job was not what she been told it was and she was thinking about what she had given up for it.

Kate's thoughts:

She remember when it all started to go bad.

Castle was just back from the Hampton's with Gina. We had a body drop and Castle show up. The crime scene was on the sixth floor. We climbed the six flights bickering about small things in his life. Apartment 606 filled with cops and CSU people.

I pushed thru them to get to Lanie in the bathroom. The victim was on the floor with three GSW to her chest.

"_Nice to see you Castle how was the vacation?"_

"_Lanie it was soothing, I even won some money. In on the board walk."_

I just huffed and walked off. I was so jealous I probably look green. I had wanted to go with Castle but I was with Demming.

I broke it off and was going to take Castle's offer to go to the Hampton's when Gina show up, I missed my chance.

The next few weeks went by fast but not without a few complications.

I stepped on a bomb trigger in apartment, and almost killed. Again Castle stayed with me and solved the code to turn off the bomb and save my ass again.

I did a lot of thinking after the bomb and all it did was confuse me more about Rick's intension with me.

The tension only increased when I had to guard Eric Vaughn, in his hotel room. I let my self drift off course, as Eric poured complements on me. I had been on duty for 16 hours. I am tired, I should have gone to my room and slept.

No I had school girl crush on a hansom man with loads of money and charm. I drank a glass of wine. I was dizzy and he stepped up to me asking those question about Castle and me, then he kiss me. Shocked I pushed him back and a sniper's bullet just missed his head. It was after that, that Ryan was setting the crime seine that I had to tell him, and Castle and all the others I had a drink and we kissed. To say Castle was upset was a mistake he was livid inside. Later we talked but I never fully explained the drink and the kiss, and what I was thinking. We were at that scene for about two hours then went back to the 12th . Things were bad but my next screw up was even worse

I was hurrying to a body drop in a cheep hotel. [One that rented room by the hour]. I received a call as I exited the Delta terminal at JFK. I knew the trip to the scene was going to make me late.

I had hoped Castle did not get a call. As I stopped in front of the hotel I jumped out and ran into the building. Stopping quickly as I bumped into The one person I was trying to avoid.

"_Ha, Kate where have you been?"_

_"Got caught in traffic getting here. How long have you been here Castle?"_

"_About two minutes. They told me the body was on the top floor, and the elevator is out of service since Grant was president."_

"_Lets walk up and see what Lanie has."_

"_Damn why do these things have to happen on the top floors ? Why not a dark ally."_

"_God is just testing you Castle."_

"_I thought I passed a long time ago."_

The case had a lot of twist and turns but with Castle help we solved it quickly.

Later that night at the loft Castle ask me if I would have done more if the sniper had not stopped us. I told Castle that I would never do that.

In my mind I was not so sure. Castle's eyes told me he too was not sure what I said was true.

Then the interview in DC became a job. A job I wanted so bad, I was afaided to tell Castle where I was, but he found the damn boarding pass, and cat was out of the bag. He got very mad and left my apartment, slamming the door.

The next day we were still at odds, he did not come into the 12th .

I called him to meet me on the swings in the park.

We talked I told him about the job offer and told him it was **my **life's dream and this was **my** decision to make. I said that the job offer was not a we decision

Oh how wrong I was.

He left me then and I went to DC to work for AG special unit.

I am a FBI agent assigned to the AG office with special powers.

In the last year I had been to Boston, Chicago twice, Rio de Janeiro three-time, Miami ten times, and Bogata three times.

My frequent flyer mile gave me an automatic up grade, every time I fly. The one place I was never sent was New York City, I did get to Buffalo once it was just an over night so I could drive over the Border.

I just want to go home, and sleep in my bed tonight.

**END:**

When the plane landed she walked thru the departure gate and met by her partner, and her old boyfriend Will Sorenson.

Will been courting her for months. At first by asking her to coffee, or end of shift drink. After seven months of appealing she gave in and went to dinner with him.

The first dinner was nice and easy he walked her to her door and said good night and left.

The second he kissed her on the right cheek.

The third time was the charm, he walked her to the door and kissed her on the lips with deep passion. She almost broke down and let him do more, but the little voice in her head said no,no,no and she listened.

Since then she had traveled all over the place and had no time for Will or any other person even herself.

Grabbing her bag he said.

"_Hi Kate long trip?"_

"_Yes 16 hours in the air, and only airline food to eat."_

She realized her big mistake as soon as she said it.

"_Well then we are going out to eat on the way home. I'll not take no for an answer Kate you need to eat."_

"_All right just eat nothing more, ok Will."_

"_Your wish is my command."_

"_Right, my wish is you would be gone and I would be home in bed."_

"_I could go along with that, the bed part any way."_

Kate gave him a look that could kill a normal man but it went over Will's head. No way was she going to bed with him ever.

At the restaurant Kate's cell sounded, the one for work that is.

"_Agent Beckett speaking."_

Will could not hear what was said but he knew the diner was over.

The look on Kate's face was one of fear, and pain.

"_Will I have to fly back to New York my father had a heart attack, and is in poor shape. Would you drive me please?"_

"_Yes Kate I'll come with you, you're going to need me there as no one in New York who is still in touch with you now."_

"_Thanks for the reminder Will, I gave up my friends for this job. It time to pay the piper."_

Back in New York Jim Beckett was fighting for his life. He suffered a MI at a baseball game. He was lucky that one of the men who were in his group was a doctor. His quick intervention was the only thing that kept him alive this far.

A call out to the FBI/AG unit is made and Kate notified of her father condition.

In DC Kate's personal cell sounded and an unknown message appeared on her screen. A text message appeared.

**{Beckett** Go to Regan private Air Terminal and ask for Bill Dolton. He will arrange for transport to New York:

Lanie**}**

Kate is amazed by the text. She told Will to go to the private air terminal. He followed her direction as she was in no mood to talk to him about anything.

Arriving at the terminal a police officer ask who she was and who she needed to see. She told him Bill Dolton and he stepped back and open her door and ask her to follow him. They are taken to a glass door opened by a man in a flight jacket.

"_Kate Beckett?"_

"_Yes I am, who are you?"_

"_I'm you pilot to take you to Kennedy, please follow me we have a small window to take off, a storm is moving in on Kennedy"_

They followed him to a private jet warming up twenty-five yards outside the door.

"_Sir I need your name if you are going with Agent Beckett."_

"_William Sorenson FBI. Why do you need my name?"_

"_I need it for the manifest for the flight, if something goes wrong."_

They boarded the jet and the door closed a second man dressed just as the first came into the cabin.

"_Please buckle up we have a clear slot to Kennedy so after we take off you can stand up. The restroom is in the back. Have a good flight."_

He returned to the front and the plane started moving. Very quickly the engines went to a high pitch and she felt the movement of the plane, the nose lifted and it seemed to stay that way for a long time. What seem hours, was only a few minutes, the engines calm down and the pilot came back and walks up to Kate.

"_MS Beckett there is refreshments in the bar over on the right, also some snacks."_

"_Thank very much,…?"_

"_Bill Dolton owner of Dolton Air. MS Beckett."_

"_Call me Kate please and thank you so much. For doing this."_

"_My pleasure."_

The pilot went back to cockpit for the rest of the flight. Will tried several times to comfort Kate but she did want to talk or be held. Will made them two drinks and convinced Kate she needed it to help her calm down. She refused a second drink as she was overtired and the first drink was making her sleepy.

A quick cat nap she woke up as the pilot notified them that they were going to land in five minutes.

Kate's mind was spinning she tried to get a handle on what has happen.

Kate:

**{**What am I going to do if my father dies. He has been my rock since I made this move to DC. I have no friends left in the city. No I have one Lanie. How did she hook up with this private air plane. Who paying for it? Are they going to send me a bill.

Oh god how do I get a taxi from the terminal? My head is spinning Will talked me into that drink. Only one has me dizzy, damn high altitudes and booze make the effect twice or more stronger.

Great I woke up with my head in Will lap on the couch, thank god I refused that second one. Come on Kate snap to it clean the webs from your head. I need a clear head now.

…...

Touchdown was smooth and a short ride to the terminal. The second pilot came back to get ready for the door to open.

Kate took the time to ask him who is paying for the trip.

"_Excuse me how do you get paid for this trip?_

"_MS Beckett the silent partner arranged for the trip they is no cost to you."_

"_Do you know who is this person I would like to thank him in person."_

"_He's meeting the plane with his limo to take you to the hospital. Thank him then, he asked for us not to tell you who he was, sorry."_

The plane stopped and the door opened and a limo pulled up beside the door. It was raining heavy so the Driver had an umbrella for her but not for Will. She hurried to the car door and slipped in. Will pushed in after forcing her into the middle of the car.

She saw a mans shoes as she's bent over getting in. As she followed his legs to his body then face she stopped breathing.

"_**Rick**__ what in hell are you doing here."_

"_Well I was going to greet you and give you an update on your dad."_

"_What do __**you **__know about my father?"_

"_Lanie just called me and said he is stable and they think he'll pull thru."_

"_I'm sorry Rick I'm more than a little tired. This is your limo?"_

"_Yes and so was the plane."_

"_**WHY**__ Rick you must hate me for going to DC."_

"_No Kate but that is in the past, getting your dad healthy is what you need to put your attention on. We can talk about old times later. _

_By the way what are you doing here Mr. Sorenson ?"_

"_Kate my partner and I thought she needed a friend."_

"_I can't see you as a friend, more like a lost suitor for her hand."_

"_Yes your right I am trying to get back with Kate. We have dated as of late."_

"_Good luck with that, till her father gets better."_

"_Stop, stop you two , I'm right here and can hear every thing your saying. _

_Will three dates is not dating but just friends_

_Castle I need to talk to you to make closure for us._

"_Later Beckett.""_

They arrived at the main entrance to the hospital and are greeted by the PR person and Lanie. They were taken up to the ICU and led to the nurse's station. She's introduced to Doctor Mallie, Cardiac Surgeon who was going to do a by-pass on her father. He told her it was fifty, fifty right now. She gave then permission to do the operation. The doctors left and they are taken to a private room, to wait for results of the by-pass.

Five long hours later Kate was sleeping on a couch too short for her to be comfortable. Lanie sat next to her and rubbed her back.

Castle went out for food and good coffee, and had not returned. The door opened and the Cardiac Surgeon came in. Kate woke up like a bell was rung.

"_What wrong Doctor Mallie?"_

"_Nothing is wrong MS Beckett. We have completed the by-pass, we are just starting to close him up. He'll be out of surgery in an hour then he will be in the recovery room for a few hours."_

"_Can I see my father, please?"_

"_When he is stabilized in the recovery room I'll let two of you to see him. He will still be under and not remember your visit, but the visit is to made you feel better, right?"_

"_Oh thank you so much. Yes I really need to see him and touch him."_

"_About two hours then we'll see."_

Kate sat down on the couch, and Will moved over and sat down beside. He put his arm around her. Kate gave him a look of pure hate.

"_Get your arm off me or you will be taking it home in a bag."_

Will quickly removed his arm and slid away from her. She then stood up and walked a crossed the room an is face to face with Castle.

"_Castle will you take me to a store so I can buy something to ware?"_

"_No problem Kate I'll take you to the stores. Lets go now so your back by the time your dad is ready ."_

They walked out never saying an other word and not touching each other.

They cam back in an hour with Kate in tan slacks an a white top. Also with two other bags.

"_Again I'll pay you back Rick, you bought me too much."_

"_You need the shower and you can not put on clothes you have been for almost twenty-four hours."_

"_Still thank you."_

Two hours and ten minutes later Dr. Mallie came back to the room.

"_MS Beckett you and one other can see your father for five minutes only."_

Will stood up beside Kate, he thought she would take him with her.

"_Castle would you come with me?"_

"_Beckett I think Lanie would be the better choice now."_

[Oh damn he hates me that much, I guess I hurt him deeper than I thought.]

"_Lanie, please?"_

_Lanie rushed to Kate and took her hand._

"_Sure Kate, I be happy to go with you."_

Five minutes later they returned crying heavy tears. She was held up by Lanie. As they entered the room Kate started to fall to the floor. With quick reflexes Castle scooped her up before she hit the floor. He carried her to the couch. He sat down with Kate still in his arms, cradling her head to his chest. Lanie applied a cool wet towel to her forehead. In a few minutes she woke up, confused as the what happened, and where she was.

"Rick what am I doing in your arms?"

"Kate you fainted and I caught you before you hit your head on the floor."

" I feel so safe in your arms. Thank you again. You can let me up now Castle."


	2. Chapter 2

Beckett's Pride

Kate job has cost her all her friends.

When her dad get ill she must give up her pride for her father

Chapter 2

Home coming

In DC Kate's personal cell sounded and a unknown text message appeared on her screen.

**{Beckett** Go to Regan Private Air Terminal and ask for Bill Dolton. He will arrange for transport to New York:

Lanie**}**

Kate was amazed by the text. She told Will to go to the private air terminal. He followed her direction as she was in no mood to talk to him about anything.

Arriving at the terminal a police officer ask who she was and who she needed to see. She told him Bill Dolton and he stepped back and open her door and told her to follow him.

They were taken to a glass door that was opened by a man in a flight jacket.

"_Kate Beckett?"_

"_Yes I am, who are you?"_

"_I'm you pilot to take you to Kennedy, please follow me we have a small window to take off, a storm is moving in on Kennedy"_

They followed him to a private jet warming up twenty five yards outside the door.

"_Sir I need your name if you are going with Agent Beckett."_

"_William Sorenson FBI. Why do you need my name?"_

"_I need it for the manifest for the flight, in case something goes wrong."_

They boarded the jet and the door closed a second man dressed just as the first came into the cabin.

"_Please buckle up we have a clear slot to Kennedy so after we take off you can stand up. The restroom is in the back. Have a good flight."_

He returned to the front and the plane started moving. Very quickly the engines went to a high pitch and she felt the movement of the plane the nose lifted and it seemed to stay that way for a long time. What seem hours, was only a few minutes, the engines calm down, the plane leveled out. and the pilot came back and walks up to Kate.

"_MS Beckett there is refreshments in the bar over on the right, also some snacks."_

"_Thank very much,…?"_

"_Bill Dolton owner of Dolton Air. MS Beckett."_

"_Call me Kate please and thank you so much. For doing this."_

"_My pleasure."_

The pilot went back to cockpit for the remainder of the flight. Will tried several times to comfort Kate but she did want to talk or be held.

Will made them two drinks and convinced Kate she needed it to help her calm down. She refused a second drink as she was overtired and the first drink was making her sleepy.

A quick cat nap an she woke up as the pilot notified them that they were going to land in five minutes.

Kate's mind was spinning she tried to get a handle on what has happen.

**Kate's thoughts**:

**{**What am I going to do if my father dies. He has been my rock since I made this move to DC. I have no friends left in the city.

No I have one Lanie. How did she hook up with this private air carrier.

Who paying for it? Are they going to send me a bill.

Oh god how do I get a taxi from the terminal?

My head is spinning, damn Will talked me into that drink. Only one has me dizzy, damn high altitudes and booze make the effect twice or more stronger.

Great I woke up with my head in Will lap on the couch, thank god I refused that second one. Come on Kate snap to it clean the webs from your head. You need a clear head now.

Touchdown was smooth and a short ride to the terminal.

The second pilot came back to get ready for the door to open.

Kate took the time to ask him who is paying for the trip.

"_Excuse me how do you get paid for this trip?_

"_MS Beckett the silent partner arranged for the trip they is no cost to you."_

"_Do you know who is this person I would like to thank him in person."_

"_He's meeting the plane with his limo to take you to the hospital. Thank him then, he ask for us not to tell you who he was, sorry."_

The plane stopped and the door opened and a limo pulled up beside the door. It was raining heavy so the Driver had an umbrella for her but not for Will. She hurried to the car door and slipped in. Will pushed in after forcing her into the middle of the car.

She saw a mans shoes as she was bent over getting in. As she followed his legs to his body then face she stopped breathing.

"_**Rick**__ what in hell are you doing here."_

"_Well I was going to greet you and give you an update on your dad."_

"_What do __**you **__know about my father?"_

"_Lanie just called me and said he is stable and they think he'll pull thru, with an operation"_

"_I'm sorry Rick I'm more than a little tired. This is your limo?"_

"_Yes and so was the plane."_

"_**WHY**__ Rick you must hate me for going to DC."_

"_No Kate but that is in the past, getting your dad healthy is what you need to put your attention on. _

_We can talk about the past old times later. _

_By the way what are you doing here Mr. Sorenson ?"_

"_It's Special Agent, Kate my partner and I thought she needed a friend."_

"_I can't see you as a friend, more like a lost suitor for her hand."_

"_Yes your right Castle, I am trying to get back with Kate. We have been dating as of late."_

"_Good luck with that, at lease till her father gets better."_

"_Stop, stop you two , I'm right here and can hear every thing your saying. _

_Will three dates is not dating but just friends_

_Castle I need to talk to you to make closure for us._

"_Later Agent Beckett, they never was an __**us**__"_

They arrived at the main entrance to the hospital, stopped all talking. They were greeted by the hospital PR person and Lanie. They are taken up to the ICU and led to the nurse's station.

She is introduced to Doctor Mallie, the Cardiac Surgeon who was going to do a by-pass on her father.

He told her it is fifty, fifty right now. She gave then permission to do the operation.

The doctors left and they were taken to a private room, to wait for results of the by-pass.

Five long hours later Kate was sleeping on a couch too short for her to be comfortable. Lanie sat next to her in a chair, and rubbed her back.

Castle went out for food and good coffee, and had not returned. The door opened and the Cardiac Surgeon came in. Kate woke up like a bell was rung.

"_What wrong Doctor Mallie?"_

"_Nothing is wrong MS Beckett. We have completed the by-pass, we are just starting to close him up. He'll be out of surgery in an hour then he will be in the recovery room for a few hours."_

"_Can I see my father, please?"_

Kate said with tears flowing down her face.

"_When he is stabilized in the recovery room I'll let two of you to see him. He will still be under and not remember your visit, but the visit is to made you feel better, right?"_

"_Oh thank you so much. Yes I really need to see him and touch him."_

"_About two hours then we'll see."_

Kate sat down on the couch, and Will came over and sat down beside her, he put his arm around her.

Kate gave him a look of pure hate.

"_Get your arm off me or you will be taking it home in a bag."_

Will quickly removed his arm and slid away from her.

She then stood up and walked a crossed the room to be face to face with Castle, each in the other space.

"_Castle will you take me to a store so I can buy something to ware?"_

"_No problem Kate I'll take you to the store. Lets go now so your back by the time your dad is ready ."_

They walked out never saying an other word and not touching each other.

They came back in an hour with Kate in tan dress slacks an a white silk top. Also with two other bags.

"_Again I'll pay you back Rick, you bought me too much."_

"_You need the shower and you can not put on clothes you have been in for almost twenty four hours."_

"_Still thank you."_

Two hours and ten minutes later Dr. Mallie came back to the room.

"_MS Beckett you and one other can see your father for five minutes only."_

Will stood up beside Kate, he thought she would take him with her.

"_Castle would you come with me?"_

"_Beckett I think Lanie would be the better choice right now."_

[Oh damn he hates me that much, I guess I hurt him more deeply than I thought.]

"_Lanie, please?"_

_Lanie rushed to Kate and took her hand._

"_Sure Kate, I be happy to go with you."_

Five minutes later they returned both crying heavy tears.

She was held up by Lanie. As they entered the room Kate started to fall to the floor.

With quick reflexes Castle, who was standing by the door, scooped her up before she hit the floor. He carried her to the couch. He sat down with Kate still in his arms, cradling her head to his chest. Lanie applied a cool wet towel to her forehead. In a few minutes she woke up, confused as the what happened, and where she was.

"_Rick what am I doing in your arms?"_

"_Kate you fainted and I caught you before you hit your head on the floor."_

" _I feel so safe in your arms. Thank you again. You can let me up now."_

**[**Oh my god did I just say that out loud? What am I doing saying that, as much at it true. Stop you father first, then we can talk maybe."**]**

An hour later the nurse told them that Jim was being moved to SICU [**S**urgical **I**ntensive **C**ar **U**nit ] and that only family could see him till he improved from critical standing. Also their would be an hour to two till Kate could visit as they need to asses his care first.

Kate was of two minds, she was happy he was being moved to SICU. But a two hour wait, what could be taking so long. She looked at Lanie for help.

"Kate I see the look in your eyes, let me explain. Jim is on what they call life support, you remember that from your shooting. They have to set up the vent and monitors and IV so it takes time. They have to see how he is progress in before an outsider can enter his environment. Have patience Kate it's for the best."


	3. Chapter 3

Kate's Pride

Kate job has cost her all her friends.

When her dad get ill she must give up her pride for her father

Chapter #3

But a two-hour wait, what could be taking so long.

* * *

** O**nly three people sat in the SICU waiting room, in the early morning, Kate, Rick, and Will. Kate sat rigid with look of a fright on her face, Rick sat looking at Kate with a seemingly blank look. Will watched the other two trying to figure out what then were thinking. It was approaching two and a half hours since Jim been transferred up to the Unit and no one has told them anything yet.

As they hear footsteps in the hall all in voluntary stiffen up.

A blond nurse who look looks like a kid enters the room.

"_MS Beckett, I'm Wendy one of the SICU nurses. Dr. Mallie said you can see your father now, only family member for not please. He is still very sick and we do not want to add to his problems."_

"_I understand, Rick, Will I'll be backing a while."_

Kate stood up and went with the nurse.

"_Castle why are you still here?"_

"_I made a promise to Jim and I will do as he ask."_

"_What kind of promise did you make, and why you?"_

"_Not that it any of your business, but I promised to look over Kate till he's get better. The why is that I was with him when he had his attack and we are friends."_

"_Does Kate know about this,…promise?"_

"_No and it would be wise for you not to tell her."_

"_Why do you hate her, I heard it in your voice when we met at the airport."_

"_Weather I do or do not hate Kate is for me to know. I made a promise to a friend, I keep my promises, unlike some people."_

About fifteen minutes later Kate came back to the room.

"_They are going to keep him in a coma for about two days to recover. Dr. Mallie has sent me home to rest and told me he will not let my father die, and he will call if anything changes." _"_Well Kate let's get you home to rest."_

"_That might be a problem . The only place I can go is my dads and I do not have a key." _"_Kate I got a hotel room you can stay with me."_

""_Thank you Will but no. I'm not going that route." _"_Kate My car service will take you to your father's place. I do have a key for the front door."_

"_Rick why do you have a key to my father house?" _"_I take care of his dogs when he has to go out-of-town for a few days."_

"_Ha, ha I find it strange to see Rick Castle as a dog walker." _"_It is one of my many new talents since you left, Agent Beckett"_

Kate did not miss the barb of the Agent Beckett, Castle thru in. Taking what she had done she sucked it in and agreed to let Rick's car service take her to her father's place.

* * *

An hour later the limo dropped her off in front of her dads place and with the key Rick gave her she went in and went to bed in her old room. That night she slept for fourteen hours. When she awoke she call the hospital and checked on her dad. They said he was progressing well and would not be coning out of the coma for another 24 hours.

Kate decided to use this time to see Lanie and Gates. She also wanted to talk to Rick sometime soon.

In 24 hours Kate was back at the side of her father. He blinked his eyes and Kate squeezed his hand.

"_K..a..t..ie, you're here."_

"_Yes dad I'm here, and I will be with you till you get completely well."_

"_I. love.. You. Katie, I love you too. Rest now and get better. _

Over the next four weeks Kate was at her father's side.

He got stronger every day till he's sent to a Rehab Center.

At the center he worked very hard and in another four-weeks he's home.

During these two months Will went back to DC but came back every other weekend to see the Beckett's. Kate made peace with Lanie and Ryan. Espo was still hurt and remained cool toward her.

Finding Castle was difficult he was never where she's told he was, always missing him by a few minutes. When she brought he father home she ask him for his help.

"_Dad I need your help with a problem I have." _"_Darling daughter what can dear old decrepid dad do to help Special Agent Beckett."_

"_First off I'm not Special Agent Beckett. I'm unemployed. I quit the AG job six weeks ago. I applied to the NYPD for work, last week. The ruling was I must go to the Academy for six weeks and then if I pass I may become a junior grade detective. The thing I need help with is getting to talk to Rick. He has avoided me at every turn. I need closure, dad. I know I hurt him very badly and I'm truly sorry. At the lease I need to personally, face to face thanking him for everything he did for you and me in those first few days."_

"_Kate do not get your hopes up about Rick Castle. He was deeply in love with you and you broke his heart, and walked away, all in the same day. He still loves you but may never forgive you. I'll arrange a meeting with him on his terms. I wish you the best of luck, but remember I'll be here when you need me to cry on my shoulder."_

"_I love you daddy, and I'll remember what you said."_

Jim called Rick Castle and they talked about an hour, mostly about Kate and her need to see him in person. The meeting with him and Kate was to take place at Castle's Hampton's hone on Sat at noon. Rick told Jim no one would else would be their, and this was a onetime deal.

When Jim called Kate she was both surprised and nervous about the meeting place, and time, but she agreed as she had no other choice.

* * *

Saturday at noon Kate pulled her dad's car into the driveway of Castle home. Looking around she saw no one. It was late April so only the year round people were even in town.

She walked up to the front door and saw a hand written sign telling her the door was open and he was in the kitchen. Entering she smelled something wonderful things in the air. Rick was cooking. Reaching the kitchen she saw him at the stove.

"_Agent Beckett please come in and sit down at my table." "__Mr. Castle I am no longer Agent Becket. I am just an unemployed fool looking for some closure, from a man I hurt and loved." _

"_I do not know if I'm happy or sad you are no longer Agent Beckett." _"_Don't feel sorry for me I quit the FBI and all the DC crowd. I had no friends and no life the entire time I was their."_

"_You have friends, and a life now?" _"_The beginnings of them with, Lanie and Ryan, Gates, and the big one My father. Thank you for all you did for my father and me. I will never forget that."_

"_The things I did I did for your father as a friend. Getting his only daughter home to him was important to him and me. You Kate were never a factor in what I did." _"_Well I guess that tells me you still hate me. You have every right to I was a selfish bitch. I only thought about my needs not your or my dads or my co-workers. The job was everything I had my eyes on the stars and my head up my ass."_

Both Rick, and Kate were quiet for a few minutes.

"_Eyes on the stars and head up your ass. Not a pretty picture Kate. __How do you see yourself today Beckett?"_

"_As a broken down X-Fed. Rick I was never good enough for you before I pulled that shit. I'm now less that I was then. I would love to have you forgive me but I could never ask you to do so. I have to fix my self, right my wrongs before a new life can begin. That why I asked for this meeting face to face. I hope someday you can forgive me enough to call me a friend again. Well that said I'll be going back to the city. Bye Rick"_

"_You thing you can say what you said about us, and me, and walk away. __Never going to happen Beckett. Sit you butt down and eat and get your strength up for I'm going to rip your ass off after we eat."_

"_If you put it that way I deserve it so I'll eat and wait for my ass to be ripped off."_

They sat and eat the meal Rick make_. _To Kate it was the best meal she had eaten since she left for the job. Castle's heart was aflutter as he watched Kate eat she took every bit as it was the finest meat she had even eaten. He loved watching her eat, he still love her but he needed time for her to prove she had changed, for good not just for the moment. When the meal was over and they cleaned up the kitchen Rick took her by the hand and walked her in the den.

"Pleas sit down Kate. You can leave at anytime during our talk. What I'm going to say will hurt us both but it must be said. I ask you to be honest when answering questions. I'll be the same, at the end it will be better or worse. I have no idea what it will be.

I'll start first. Why did you lie to me?"

* * *

Castle must get answers for all his questions before he can decide if he ever will forgive Kate


	4. Chapter 4

Kate's Pride

Kate job has cost her all her friends.

When her dad get ill she must give up her pride for her father

* * *

Chapter 4 A question of honor

I ask you to be honest Why did you lie to me?

* * *

"_Why did I lie to you about what?" _

"_Start with the job offer who made it and when.?"_

"_Agent Stack made the first mention of a possible job in the AG office. He said I'd be a perfect fit. I did not think he was serious. So I did not say anything about it to you." _

"_You did not think a Federal Agent asking you if your interested in a job, might be interesting to me, to us, really Beckett."_

"_Rick I told him we were a couple, living together, and I was staying with that."_

"_So when the first real job offer came in and you went to DC early in the morning, You chose to keep that from me, and lied to me about where you were, why Kate?"_

"_I just wanted to see if they were really interested in me, the person, not Beckett the cop. I knew you would be upset if you knew I flew to DC, for a job interview. You were mad when you found out right." _

"_Yes I was mad, because you lied to me and the only way I found out was by me finding that damn boarding pass, in your coat pocket. _

_You were not going to tell were you Kate?" _

"_I was going to tell you later."_

"_See Kate another lie now. Do you ever tell the truth?" _"_I was going to tell you but I got wrapped up in the case."_

"_You make no sense, why are you scared to tell me the truth?" _

"_I love you and did not to want to lose you if you got mad at my doing the interview."_

"_I don't think I want to hear any more of you lies. __If you tell one more we're done here and forever. So if you can not talk and answer my questions without lying get out now."_

"_I'm sorry I'm trying to tell you everything but I'm afraid I'll say it wrong and you will throw me out." _

"_Just tell me the truth, if it** true** and it **hurts** I can **live** with that I can not take anymore **lie's Kate**."_

"_Ok but I know you are going to hate what ever I say so ask your questions and be ready for answers you are not going to like. _"_Why did you take the AG's DC job?'_

Kate stood up and walked in circles for a minute.

"_I needed to get away from you Castle. __I felt my wall crumbling and scared you were so inside my head. You were about to see my dark side. __When that happened you would never see me as someone you could ever love." _

"_What is so dark I would hate you for?"_

"_Do you want to hear it or take my word it's going to hurt you?" _

"_Tell me Kate my mind can make everything not said bigger than it is."_

"_Ok I warned you, Rick. The big one, Erick Vaughn and I were doing much more than kissing when the sniper shot at us. _

_He had his hand in my vagina and his two fingers inside me, pumping. _

_My shirt and bra on the floor, I was leaning back on the back of the couch when he ducked his head down to my breast, to taste my nipple, when the sniper missed us._

_ If the sniper had not broken the moment he would have fucked me on that couch and I was into letting him do it. _

_Are you happy now that I admitted I was almost had sex with an other man that day?"_

Castle sat stunned and silent.

**[**OMG my worst fear was true, she was going to have sex with Vaughn that day in the hotel room.

Jesus Christ he had his finger inside her, my Kate.

What did he have to get inside her in only two days?"**]**

"_Why Kate you only knew him two-day, and you were going let him take you in the middle of the room with the curtains open to view?"_

"_I do not know why, I did it. Even to this very minute I do not know why. I was over tired, flattered and light-headed from drinking and not eating. These are excuses not reason. Would I have let him take me to bed I do not know. I hope I would have stopped him but I'll never know. The snipers bulitt sure ended that, I barly got my shirt on before the Uni's broke in the door."_

"_Have you see him since that day?"_

"_Yes I have Castle I saw him several times in Washington. I went to dinner several times, and had coffee several times. I never went to bed with him he ask many time but I said no every time. I have never had sex with anyone but you since we became a couple and two years before that."_

**[**Oh god I'm lying again, but if I tell Rick I have slept with Eric he will never let me back into his life.

An other mistake in my damn sorrowful life.

I thought Rick was over but after the time with Eric I knew Rick was it or nothing.**]**

"_Kate I need time, __**a lot of time**__, to get straight what you have told me today. __I can't at this time say I'll ever forgive you, I do not what to forget you but forgive you will take a lot of time. _

_I wish you luck in the NYPD, and your life. Please do me a favor and stay away from my family and me for the same amount of time you kept the secret of you and Vaughn. Please leave now MS Beckett."_

"_I'm sorry Rick I told you, you would hate but it out and over now. I'll honor your wishes and stay away from you and your family. I still love Rick and always will."_

"_I wish I could believe you Kate, I really do."_

Kate walked out the door and left the house. A half mile down the road she stopped on the side of the road and cried for an hour before she could stop and drive home

Three months have passed and Rick had not seen or spoken to Kate Beckett. It was Saturday night Rick, Esposito, Ryan and two other friends were playing cards.

"_Ha Castle we got a strange case yesterday. Two brothers came home from hunting and found both their wives dead in the living room of the oldest brother home. Both were dead and nude. With men's underwear stuffed in their mouths, and private parts."_

"_You are right Espo that is strange. How does the brothers alibi check out?"_

"_Thin but they do have one. One of their friends said they were with him."_

"_Are you checking the wives background?"_

"_So far we have nothing back."_

"_Would you come in on Monday and add you thoughts?"_

"_Simple question where is Detective Beckett working?"_

"_She in working Narcotic, on the third floor not our unit."_

"_Ok I'll see you Monday. I win full house aces over kings!"_

The game ended at 1am. Rick went to bed hoping he would not run in to Kate on Monday.

He was not going to get his wish on Monday and he was going to get hurt again but not from her.

* * *

Rick sense Kate lied to him about Vaughn and the reason she almost had sex with him and what happened in DC on their non date, diner dates.

His trust in Kate is at an all-time low.


	5. Chapter 5

Kate's Pride

Kate job has cost her all her friends.

When her dad get ill she must give up her pride for her father

* * *

Chapter 5 A last chance

* * *

When Rick arrived at the 12th, in a cab who was standing at the front door talking with a young Detective, Detective Kate Beckett.

She did not see him and he walked quietly up the stairs behind her. He listen to what she said to the Young detective.

"_Jon we were under cover role-playing. The kiss was play acting it meant nothing to me it was acting."_

"_Kate it meant something to me."_

"_Jon lets talk about this after work at the Dinner, before we go to the club. At six, ok."_

"_Ok but I think you need to think about the kiss."_

Kate turned around and saw Castle. She blushed completely head to toe.

"_How much did you overhear Castle?"_

"_Not much, just you are still kiss strangers and feeling nothing. Excuse me I have a meeting inside."_

**[**_**God damn it of all people to over hear me talking about kissing someone.** _

**_Jon is my partner and we kissed for the part. _**

**_It did feel good being kissed, but __Jon__ was not who I was thinking about_."]**

Castle did not see Beckett for the reminder of the day. At five Castle went home, and Beckett and Jon went to the dinner to have supper and talk over the day, night before.

"_Kate can we sit in the back so everyone can't see us?"_

"_Sure Jon just control your vivid imitation this is a meeting to talk, not a date."_

"_What ever I just need to talk with you."_

They got a booth in the back it was small and they were sitting facing each other. The booth was so small their knees were touching. This annoyed Beckett and excited Jon.

"_Kate why did you say that our kissing yesterday was not real? __I felt something and you responded to the kisses. We were almost in bed together. You let me touch you and did not pull back. If Al had not barged in I think we would have done the deed."_

"_We were** role-playing** we were suppose to make them think we were a couple in love. We were on camera it had to look real. I did not realize you had your hand up my dress till All broke in. Your trying to feel me up was not in the plan Jon."_

"_Come on Kate you felt something and you did fell me stroking you legs."_

**[_Kate blushed caught in a lie again. She had felt his hand up her skirt she was in a daze dreaming, and thought it was Castle in her dream, she been doing that a lot lately_.]**

"_No Jon I felt nothing and do not let that happen again or I'll break all your fingers."_

"_So are we going to that club again tonight?"_

"_Yes after we eat I have to change in to my chub clothes. Pick me up at my place at eight. Remember no funny stuff tonight Jon."_

"_Ok just dancing and some non feeling kissing, got it"_

**[_He smiled he knew she felt the kissing last night and his groping in her crotch. Tonight he would be more tender_**.**]**

As it turned out Rick and his date were going to that same club, he had no idea she and Jon would be their. At eight pm Castle and Sandy Letterman, the woman he had dated for the last month, arrived in the **'Club del Fan~co'**.

Jon noticed his arrival he knew who Castle was and who he use to have connections with. He went out of his way to shield her from seeing him. He was very happy to see the woman he's reported dating with him.

It was an hour later before Kate saw him and his date holding hands after a dance. Hurt by what see saw she folder back into the crowd. Jon had smoothed her tonight he had filled her drink glass three times in the first hour. She had buzz but was not drunk she soon spotted her contact and moved in for the first buy.

"_Hello Edward how are things tonight. Hi Taffy back again, where you boyfriend?"_

"_Bathroom, he's still trying to control his bladder to more than two drinks."_

Edward laugh, he thought Taffy's boyfriend was a little young for her but everyone has their own thing.

"_What do you need tonight more weed?"_

" _I was looking for something more up scale, a little nose candy?"_

"_I have some but you remember the routine you have do it before you can buy it."_

"_I remember can we go some place and complete the deal Ed?"_

"_Come with me in the back."_

Kate was looking for Jon, he had to witness the buy so it was a done deal with out him this was a un witness buy. No good for a conviction. She had to go with Ed or risk the buy. They went into a small room in the back with a coffee table and a couch. Ed sat down and motion Kate to sit beside him.

He opened a small bag of white power and poured some on the table he then used a credit car to form four unequal lines. He took a hundred-dollar bill rolled it tight and offered it to Kate. Kate has practice it in the station and at home using powered sugar. This was not powered sugar this was high quality coke.

Kate bent her head and did the line. Then Ed indicated the second line and Kate did it again. Kate's unprepared for the rush. She got very warm and high, she felt on top of the world. She felt good about her self all self-doubt was gone. She also felt very randy. Ed gave her a bag and she gave him the money. Just then Jon entered the room.

"_Ha baby where did you go?"_

"_I had to pee but two guys got into a fight and I was stuck in the stall till it was over."_

"_You poor baby give mama a kiss we passed the test and I got the blow."_

Jon walked over to her and kissed her. His tongue met hers and he wanted to lay her down on the couch but Ed told them to get a room. He whispered in her ear that they needed to leave.

With Kate hanging all over him Jon left with Kate.

Jon had high hopes as he guided Kate into her apartment, they all went to hell as Lanie met them at the door. She took over Kate and sent Jon on his way.

* * *

The next day she worked she was given a message to report to Captain Gates' office ASAP. Having no idea what it was about she chose to believe she was in trouble.

"_Captain Gates Detective Beckett reporting."_

"_Kate it's Vicky, you think you're in trouble right?"_

"_Yes sir, I mean Vicky."_

"_No Kate I have a full-time opening in Homicide. Not on your old team but with McGregor. He going to put in his papers in a month and then you will take over a team."_

Gates could see the unhappiness and fear on her face.

"_Take it or leave it if you want back into Homicide this is it."_

"_I'll take it, sorry for the look. My old team was what I wanted, but this is good enough sir., Vicky."_

"_One other thing Kate before you left you passed the Sergeants exam. I recommend you to become The Detective Sergeant for the 12__th__ division. _

_Also I want you to take the Lieutenants Exam in six weeks. I'll make your load light so you can study for it. _

_You will pass and when you become a lieutenant you will become my second in command here at the 12__th__. _

_Any questions Kate?"_

"_Just one, is this a dream. Am I going to turn into a mouse when some one snapped their fingers?"_

Gates stepped up to her and pinched her arm.

"_Ouch that hurt."_

"_Still think it's a dream Detective."_

"_No sir, where is my desk sir."_

"_The one just outside my office Detective Sergeant Beckett."_

The smile on Gates was almost as big as Kate's_._

"_Get out of my office and get your thing together and then see me about what you need to do for the rest of the shift."_

Kate was back in less than an hour. Gates sent her to 1PP to sign the paper for the test and get the study guides. She also pick up her new badge and ID.

Upon her return she noted the name sign on her new desk. "DETECTIVE SERGEANT BECKETT" all in gold lettering and a copy of an NYPD badge.

When Castle came in at ten with donuts and pastries the first thing he saw was Beckett's desk.

"When did Beckett move up here and make sergeant?"

"She Detective Sergeant they are only one other with that rank in the NYPD. Gates pushed it thru 1PP. She answers only to Gates and is the supervisor of all the detectives in the 12th."

"Does mean you are going to stop working with us Castle?"

"Never bro's we are a team and Kate's returns is not going to effect us she can just watch us and see what she chose to throw away."

* * *

For the next six weeks Kate sat at he desk or in the break room and studies her books.

Three day after the exam Gates sent her out with Esposito's team to make a furtive arrest . She was only to observe not to take part in any way with the operation.

At the warehouse Esposito's team along with a **SWAT** team entered the side door for the take down.

Kate was the last person to enter. As soon as the last officer was inside firing started. The sound of automatic weapons being fired and the concrete of the walls forced Castle to squat down behind a wooden wall. Kate who was standing at the door saw one of the gunmen point his **AK-47** at the wall Castle was behind. He started to fire before Kate could draw her weapon to bear. Kate fired at the gun man and he turned from firing at the wall to firing at her. Kate fired six times before she was hit by the first of his bullets. She hit him three times and he hit her seven times. Kate's bullets hit the gunman in the neck and the face, he was dead before he hit the ground. Kate took three bullets to her chest one in her right leg and the left foot. The last one hit her in the head just above the right ear. Kate laid on the ground for five minutes till someone found her as the medics entered the door way.

She's covered in blood and was not moving. The Para-medics found a week pulse. Her eyes are dilated and un moving. The started three large-bore IV and were running them wide open they package up and rushed to the nearest open field and met by a life flight helo. Up and away and five minutes after leaving the warehouse she is being primed for surgery.

Back at the crime scene. Castle had a scratch on his cheek created by splinters. Ryan walked over to him.

"_Ryan did we get him?"_

"_Yes he surrendered in the bathroom. Five of his men are dead."_

"_Did we lose any one?" _

"_Two of the SWAT officers got wounded. Only we may have lost a detective. They said a detective was hit seven times, killing the gunman who was shooting at you Castle."_

"_Shit I hope he makes it."_

"_They said it was 20 / 80 negative."_

Esposito walked over and had a very worried look on his face.

"_What wrong Espo. You look like you lost you best friend?"_

"_Castle we both may have lost a friend. It's Beckett, she been shot six, or seven times, she was barely alive when she taken out of here. _

_Castle she stood up and exchanged gunfire with the guy shoot at you down on the floor. _

_She got him but he got her a few times. _

_One of the EMT's said he thought she was dead on arrival."_

* * *

Castle got dizzy, his eyes stared to roll back in his head and he fall back off the chair. Ryan grabbed him to stop his fall. The EMT's revived him and by the time he came to Captain Gates was standing before him.

"_Mr. Castle I did not like you when I came to the 12__th__. _

_But Detective Beckett spoke so highly about you so I gave you a chance. That ended up as a plus for the 12__th__. I know Kate hurt you when she went to Washington for the job. _

_She made her departure badly but she had no choice. _

_When she came back I made it a point to keep her away from you. I may have been wrong, I know now how much she loved you and I am afraid that her last thing she did as a cop was to protect you with her life. _

_She was not part of this operation and was only to stay out-of-the-way and observe the action. _

_Why she stepped into the line of fire to exchange fire from a man with an automatic weapon, is beyond reason, except for love." _

The entire 12th Detective squad and a large amount of the Uniform officer went to the hospital and donated blood in Kate's name.

Their were informed that Kate survived the trip from the scene to the hospital. Castle used every favor he had to get news and help for Kate. He flew a neurosurgeon in from Boston's Mass General for her head wound. It was over twenty-four hours after she arrived before her doctors finally made a statement.

"Family and friends of Detective Kathryn Beckett. My name is Richard Hamilton I as chief of staff of St. Michael's Hospital.

MS Beckett is in a medically induced coma to help her survive her ordeal. Ms Beckett was shot seven times . Three time in the chest in the heart area. All three bullets were stopped by her vest but the damage to her ribs and muscles was extensive. She was also shot in both legs. And in the right arm breaking the bone at the elbow. She was also shot in the head on the right side just above her ear. The bullet punctured her skull and did not exit. At this time we have no idea about the damage done.

As we said Ms Beckett is on total life support, that is we are breathing for her and pumping her blood. No further report will be given till they is a change in her condition."

The Doctors left the podium and the media started to report the news.

The front page New York Times said it all.

**HERO COP SAVES LIVES **

**AND IS SHOT SEVEN TIME.**

Detective Sergeant Kathryn H. Beckett a supervisor at an arrest, in an abandon warehouse saw her a fellow member of The NYPD about to be shot. She stepped up into the line of fire, exchanging gun fire using her 40mm Glock against an AK47 automatic rifle. She took him out but he shot her seven times. She is alive but just by an inch.

Take a moment and say a **thank you **and a prayer for this fine civil servant.

Good luck Kate Beckett, hanger in their, **we the people **of city of NEW York owe you a lot."

################################################## #####################################

In the ICU a small woman, in a big bed, fought the biggest fight of her life. At her bed side two men one older than the other sat with tears in their eyes and each call on a higher power to step in and help this woman they both loved with their whole heart.


End file.
